Quick: When you log on to Facebook, what do you hope to find?
Your answer will vary depending on what you enjoy reading, doing or viewing. It probably does not include an endless stream of horn-tooting, fan-page-begging, “Me first!” yelling for your attention. (And really, the Facebook experience doesn’t differ much from the good, old-fashioned mailbox experience: Everyone loves getting birthday cards and checks in the mail. Bills, ads and junk? Not so much.)
When I jump on Facebook (too frequently, but hey, it’s my “job”), I look for the good stuff–the videos, the links, the great conversations that make my life a little richer, a little more fun. And I do find it because I have a set of people on Facebook–and Twitter and my other various “inboxes”–whom I trust to filter out the junk and share great stuff in a fun, easy way.
These are the people I tend to remember when opportunities arise, whose praises I sing, whose word I spread without even being asked to. They’re the people I want to support because they make my life better.
It’s not magic that makes some people “attention magnets” and others the kind you want to run from: It’s behavior. Here’s a set of three interlocking behaviors that create a framework anyone can use to guide her actions online (or off!) and become the person everyone looks forward to listening to:
1. Be Useful
2. Be Specific
3. Be Nice
For simplicity’s sake, let’s take a look at how each behavior looks in action on Facebook. But think of how each of these principles might work in email, in Web copy or even (gasp!) face-to-face with clients or in a networking situation.
Be Useful
These days, there’s more information than we have time to find, much less consume. When you recommend an article or an especially inspiring TED talk, you help your friends and/or followers better manage their own time. Do it often and reliably enough and you’ll develop a reputation as the voice they should listen to first. Instead of someone who gets filtered out, eventually you become someone people seek out.
Think of being useful as actions and tactics that add value to other people’s lives. It’s not just about sharing information, it’s other helpful things, too: A show of moral support or even a personalized “Happy birthday!” can be useful in this context, as can a friendly or funny comment on a status update or a photo album.
Be Specific
Utility is about tactics. Specificity, the second point of the triangle, is about strategy. And getting specific about the types of information you share, the voice you use to share it, even the frequency of your interactions, creates a structure that relieves a lot of the worry about how often and what kinds of things to do and say on Facebook (or anywhere else you’re interacting with people).
Getting specific about what and how you share is also an easy, economical way to market yourself. A writer friend of mine is famous for asking questions that stimulate lively (and frequently, useful) comment threads. Does she get work directly through her Q&A discussions? Probably not. But I’ve sent opportunities her way because I think of her first, and fondly. And I’m guessing I’m not the only one.
Be Nice
Tactics and strategy don’t mean much if you’re someone no one wants to be around. Offer what you can with a kindly spirit. If you can't give freely, consider finding a nice way of saying no. Be especially careful about tone online, where it’s easily misinterpreted in the absence of body language and other physical cues that provide context.
And remember, a relentlessly cheerful attitude can be as obnoxious as a lousy one. Be friendly and gracious, but be real. Always-on salespeople are as scary on Facebook as they are in person, but they’re much, much easier to make go away.
The Value of the Framework
Once you've started to view your interactions through this lens, it's virtually impossible to go back to the old, flailing "LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT MEEEEE!" way of doing things. It removes the anxiety around how to communicate in all kinds of ways, not just online.
Best of all? It’s a way to help make the world a nicer, more useful place, even as you help your business.
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Don’t miss Colleen Wainwright at the American Society of Media Photographers’ Strictly Business 3 Conference series. Proudly supported by ADBASE, SB3 is designed to help photographers build business and enhance professionalism.
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